Happy Halloween. Samhain. New Year. It's been a little while since I've written you. Busy this week - every week? Moving, cleaning. Rocky, therapy, work. My carpal tunnel's been acting up lately. So that's been a Thing. Most kitchen things are unpacked. Sc's voiced a preference to be more involved in the unpacking - well, decorating. But it's difficult to decorate if the house is in a state of disarray.
R sent me copies of two books he's been published in. Compilation of short stories centered around Southern horror. I liked one of them more than the other.... I feel like specific place names evoke more of a reaction. Specificity of circumstance, name, and emotion.
Still reading a Flannery O'Connor compilation of short stories. Two shows tonight. Exhausting. The people are great. I suppose it's more the waiting around that bothers. And the fact that I've gotten used to having two home days per week.
Parent-Teacher Conferences next week. Oh my God. So unprepared.
There's a shard of anger in-between the bars of my ribcage. Trying to work its way out. Not directed towards anyone or anything in particular. Just there.
Depression ebbs and flows. Sometimes. Sometimes manageable. Right now is manageable.
So. What struck me about Norwegian Wood was the way the characters simultaneously had symbiosis with each other and couldn't exist, survive, thrive whilst participating in that symbiosis. I related to different parts of every single character. It causes me to feel the distance between myself and those around me. It's comfortable, but disheartening.
Young Frankenstein tomorrow at Bear Tooth if I end up wanting to get out of bed.
I don't know what to say these days. I was talking to my therapist about it and we didn't really resolve it. But maybe that' snot the point of therapy anyway.
So many shoulds between now and Thanksgiving. I think my friends have gotten tired of reaching out and asking me to do things, because...so busy doing things at night. No carving pumpkins except for at work. And, shit. No real sense of identity or place right now.
I mean, I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But it feels like swimming through murky water. I never was much of a navigator.
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