Today is day two of Spring Break: The Grownup Version. S and L have flown to Disneyland and it's starting snowing in earnest (again) here. I am missing them, and also enjoying the little perks of being a temporary hermit. The quiet. The sleeping by myself. Monopolizing the television to watch Million Dollar Secret, do homework without distraction, and begin chipping away at un-fucking the house. The cat is happy to be left alone. At 31 weeks pregnant, I am happy not to be standing in line and doing way more socialization than my nervous system likes.
I am less thrilled that I will probably need to shovel at some point today, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Even less thrilled that we're at war again (still?), and that all the Christian nationalists are getting everything they ever dreamed of. Big motherfucking uh-oh right there. And that there were ~11 ICE agents at the airport in Anchorage, apparently, while my husband and daughter were going through security.
However far I get in un-fucking the house, I've been trying to think of ways to mitigate the fuckery once S and L get back. And I suppose I should go about it one thing at a time, because change tends to happen in small, measurable (actionable! Relevant! Time-bound!) steps. I don't exactly remember how many days it's supposed to take for a new habit to stick, but I think it's something between 30 and 90 days? So anyway, I'm making a list of things I want to address one-at-a-tedious time until forever, I guess. Or until I hit postpartum and am hanging on by my lil' fingernails. But I imagine the first one to emerge will be Leaving Towels Places.
Do you Leave Towels Places? Please, for the love of god - do not. A towel's natural habitat is hanging up on a towel bar, wadded up in the laundry basket or clean and folded in the linen closet. Not damp and strewn in your bed. Not damp and strewn on the floor. Not strewn anywhere, really. We have a truly astonishing number of towels when they're all laundered and folded and literally none the rest of the time. After 10 years of this I am definitely not cool girl about it anymore. I can't know how to hear any more about towels! Ahem. Might have bottled this up for too long. Maybe.
So anyway. Address that for ~30 days, reevaluate and jump on the next thing. Are there things that are more important? Probably. But I'd like some evident change, please.
Had a followup with my psychiatric NP and she floated the idea of increasing my bupropion from 150 mg to 300 mg. In a subsequent followup with my OB she was like, "So, you're just taking two instead of one now, right?" Oh. I guess I could do that. My brain is typically just like: no. Finish the current protocol and then start on the new one. But, no. Just do the change thing why not? It's fine. Silly brain.
Randomly ran into K at the gym by my house and it's was nice to see her. Not the same as it once was, but nice to catch up. Lots of "if you need anything reach out I'm here" and nodding. Yup, yup. I am for whatever combination of reasons not great at doing that and never have been, but okay. I did used to have a little chart (with stickers!) so I could rotate through reaching out to friends and spending time with them because I was so shit at it. Maybe I should institute that again, but incorporate all the playdate shenanigans L requires while I'm at it. Because: limited amount of that type of social engagement spoons.
Okay, time to study for the NBCOT a bit, then go run a group that absolutely no-one will show up to (in a snowstorm!), work out and then go to the bookstore with V. Oh, and shovel perhaps? Because I'm cosplaying as a Real Person today.
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