- Things are looking up today in no small part because at least the rest of the world is setting boundaries with the president. And somehow the second rescheduling of my airline tickets have resulted in even more refunds for me (????) and accidentally spending a half-day in Seattle. Ohhhhh noooo! Not Seattle! Whatever shall we do? Soak up the sea air and gawk at the sound while riding that giant ferris wheel? Uh oh.
- I hope I'm doing a good-enough job of not affirming or denying the fixed delusions of the people I come in contact with. I said yesterday that I feel safer at the inpatient psychiatric hospital I'm doing my capstone at than I do in the community - which probably made it sound like I find the population* distasteful. That's not the case. I feel safer because there are fewer variables in the hospital. There are infinite variables on The Outside. People who believe themselves to be a hundred percent oriented to reality who may not in very stimulating environments bumping up against people who have deep fear of mental illness and all the sights, sounds and dangers that go with that. Whereas the hospital? Everyone should at least sort of know how to interact in trauma-informed ways. There is a predictable pattern to the daily schedule and the environment is fairly predictable. Is it homey? No. Is it giving dorm room from hell? Yes. Is it still doing its best? Probably.
*And when I say "the population" I really mean: people like me and the people I love, honestly. Because I absolutely believe it to be a miracle/maybe an oversight that I haven't spent at least a little time in a similar facility. Life is hard. Society is fucked. Mental health isn't even on the back burner - it's in a cupboard somewhere and gathering dust. So. Yeah.
- Yesterday turned into a bit of a Hero's Quest (not really, actually) that involved rescheduling an appointment, a productive Microsoft Teams meeting, a doctor's appointment, half-listening to a synchronous online class amidst driving and Other Tasks because I cannot manage my time it is laughable that I ever tell anyone anything about how to do that effectively, driving to two pharmacies and stepping foot inside a grocery store. Oh, and lab in the evening.
- Now I'm sitting on Zoom waiting to see if the person I tried to schedule an interview with will actually show up. It's 12 minutes past start time and I have the free Zoom anymore, so I don't know if this is really going to pan out for me. Details that may be jamming me up: they're located in Scotland. Although I'm pretty sure I accounted for the time difference I *gestures at situation 1 in the chat*; they're probably busy and this was a somewhat last-minute scheduling ask; maybe they forgot; maybe they're proactively trying to troll an American - for which I don't blame them; also, running Zoom meetings gives me The Anxiety because I'm so sure I missed seven things that make me look like the dinosaur I am. *sigh* Anyway.
- This week has shaped up to be busier than expected (and it was expected to be pretty busy anyway). Things are picking up a little bit at Site 1 and I must now be an adult and come up with some resources for a different community site that has questions that are BAM right in the wheelhouse of my capstone project. I am volunteering/going to a local OT conference for the first time on Saturday, which I am excited about (and not questioning that excitement either - just rolling with it). And I have to present out on my topic on Tuesday which has very much turned into a *buckle up bitches here we go* level of detail, so I hope I can fit it into a half-hour and that it doesn't look/sound like trash. So that's all I'm planning on doing on Sunday except for a playdate possibly but only if that works out seamlessly.
- The energy I wish to embody for this upcoming presentation.
- Over and out.
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