teh crush blog

It is a time-honored tradition.  Almost since there have been blogs, written communication, the internet.  There have been crush-blogs.  But why?  Since I'm dealing with some current springtime real-life crushness (which is always beyond awkward, amirite?) the why seems like a thing of immediate importance.

I was talking with a friend last year sometime about crushes.  His theory was that it was kind of an evolutionary drive.  That we're designed to always be crowd-searching for the best possible potential mate.  And thus bettering ourselves to increase the likelihood of gaining the potential mate.  So maybe that's the point of it all.  

My personal theory is that crushes tend to be the people we most want to be like.  I'm all for bisexual tendencies and outright non-hetero behavior, so obviously that's not all it is.  But there's some attraction in clinging to the notion that maybe this silly desire can be personally constructive, eh?

Erinn Hayes
She's rocketed to the top of my list lately, due to Children's Hospital suddenly being available on Instantwatch.  I remember her well from Kitchen Confidential.  Hot, raunchy, sarcastic - the whole ciabatta.  Remember the naughty picture battle she had with that sous chef in Kitchen Confidential?  No?  Signature hairflip?  Anyway.  You should.  Hulu that shit.  Erinn Hayes.  

Gael Garcia Bernal
Maybe you remember Gael from The Motorcycle Diaries.  Science of Sleep?  Casa de Mi Padre?  No?  Then perhaps you're more familiar with his work in that regrettable Kate Hudson movie from that one year.  Or his immortal Latin language cover of "I Want You To Want Me". He's kind of a big deal.  Probably has many leather-bound books.  Moreover, I guarantee that trilingual, socially-conscious Mexican dreamboats who can make comedy their bitch and tragedy their sycophant do not just grow on trees, guys.  You should read his Wikipedia bio.  It's pretty swoony.

Jenna Marbles
I just discovered Jenna this year.  I know, I know.  I'm late to the party.  Like, past fashionably late into the part of the night where everybody's already so drunk that nobody's going to realize I've shown up at all if I don't do some quick Instagramming.  Be that as it may!  Jenna.   JennaJennaJenna.  Jenna's bangin', nerdy , smart, brave enough to get drunk in public on the internet (which basically means she has more balls than all y'all) and a recipient of the James Joyce Award.  For her YouTube channel.  Ireland loves her, so should you. 

Danisnotonfire

Let's keep with the YouTuber theme, shall we?  Yes, lets!  Why am I writing all like I like the Union Jack?  Because Danisnotonfire is British.  From what I gather he's one of the people who started what we old people used to call a vlog?  I think?  See, I was never cool enough to Know Things Like That when they were first starting.  The venture took off and the appeal is that he's acerbic, funny, nerdy, self-deprecating, an escapist and likes A. A. Milne and Studio Ghibli a great deal.  He's a cute nerd-do-well and that's pretty endearing.  It's a Cinderella story, really.

Amanda Fucking Palmer

AFP is probably best known as the heart and soul of The Dresden Dolls.  Have you ever heard "Coin Operated Boy"?  Yeah.  That was her.  For sheer sexiness, punk-rock attitude, performance energy and commitment to her fan-base one can do no better than Amanda.  She tweets, she blogs, she does TED Talks and has this sooooo apparent, enviable understanding of the holistic relationship the minutes and hours of an artist's life must have with their art as a whole.  It's rad.  Oh yeah, and she's married to Neil Gaiman.  If you're into that sort of thing.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

So this is The Big One.  This is my husband, my main man, my homie, my guy I'm all like, "Dude, just pick up some beer or something on the way home but whatever just get here so we can, like, get it on, already."  Or (I totes can't decide) maybe write some Tiny Stories together.  Which actually is not a euphemism.  Joe is hot.  Joe is a good actor.  I fully expect Joe to be a good director, although I have not seen Don Jon yet.  But where Joe really makes me silly, melty, fulloncan'ttalkorbreathesmitten lies proximal to the work he does with hitRECord and the Tiny Book of Tiny Stories series.  It's feckin' inspirational, gives me hope 'n that for the future of collaborative arts.   

Charlotte Gainsbourg
Charlotte's one of my favorites because she's elegant, magnetic, compelling to listen to and watch and intelligent and well-heeled.  She also seems like a real person, which is passing rare in this day and age.  Especially since she's the daughter of a celebrated model and a continental European crooner-God.  Her speaking voice is rather lovely too.  (Bonus.)

Moshe Kasher

Netflix recently turned me onto Moshe Kasher and I've been telling everybody to go watch the one.  Special.  He.  Has.  Because apparently there only is one.  (You have no idea how many negative feelings that makes me feel.  Want moar, plz.)  Every once in a while I'll find a comic that I just...watch.  Over.  And over.  And over again.  And since right before Christmas that comic has been Moshe.  Before Moshe it was John Waters, if that gives you an idea of aesthetic we're working with here.  But: yes. Articulate, funny, awesome pacing.

Kate Beaton

Okay, so, you know I'm a tiny little bit of a history nerd, right?  Not a lot.  When I say tiny, I mean tiny.  I also mean more than average and less than the people who got their secondary degree regarding a specialized chunk o' time.  And you know I'm pretty down with comics and nerdery of various kinds, I assume?  Dunno why that's assumed.  I just suppose it to be plastered on my forehead.  With all this information in mind it makes perfect sense that Kate Beaton would be my girl-crush.  She's a comic book artist who almost exclusively addresses all of the above with this groovy feminist vibe.  Plus her drawing style puts me in mind of the 70s.  Fantastic!

John Darnielle

It's been said many times.  I'm going to say it again!  This man is the Bob Dylan of my generation.  And the generation before us.  And maybe the generation after us.  Not very many people are paying attention...but more are now than ever before.  We'll get there.  John is one of the most gifted English lyricists now living.  Gods, demons, relationships, love, hate, butterflies, death, disease and every part of life that's too often neglected or gentrified in much music.  It's all there.  And there is a mind-blowing amount of material to get lost in.  No matter what specific emotionally charged situation you're in, I will bet you John has been there and written a song about it.  It's up to you to find it.  The pleasure's in the hunt, though, isn't it?

So that's it for another year.