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I feel the type of sick I did when Sc did this same thing. Actually, this is a step beyond what Sc did. As far as I know R was unaware that Sc was...uh...in limerence with her and downloading pictures of her from the internet. I can only imagine what's going on with that now that AI is widespread.
Nope, this was (is?) direct contact. And (and!)* at a time when we're supposed to be rebuilding our relationship (and a window of time in which I was** slowly starting to feel some sexual desire and security) he comes at me with this. And and and there was either some premeditation (at least some) or a total lack of judgement. Bestie, one day last week after work he took our daughter to see the band K is in play at the museum because he was "meeting a friend there"*** to see music. After starting to get explicitly flirty with K on Facebook and Instagram.
A particularly bad fight we had this morning escalated because S started getting verbally aggressive with me after I accidentally sighed in bed this morning when reexamining the texts. I know, I know, I shouldn't have. But. It's like a scab. We (I) pick at it. When I realized he took our daughter to meet K (basically), I needed to take some time to calm down. And my intention was to express to him that he was no longer welcome to take L or H anywhere by himself unless I was going too.
That probably wouldn't have helped any, I suppose.
Look, I get he feels like it's fun to get flirted with. I understand in a...distant way. Because flirting, to me has always felt confusing and icky****. So, yes, I can see how you would like that. I can also see how this would have gone had it continued.
And I'm not so sure I shouldn't have let it continue. Should I have just been like: "Ok, have fun with your new girlfriend work construction for the rest of your life supervised visitation only see you never thanks for doing all this >6 weeks postpartum?"
But fuck. We have kids. We have brought another human into all of this. So counseling it is. I'm sure I'll have more thought later, but I have that sick feeling (see above) and have to get ready to go pickup our child from music camp. I did decline S staying home again from work today to "give me sleep"***** so in a sense I asked for the responsibility. Which is fine. But still. Even in these trying times one must shower. And clean newbork poop.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
*Can't you just hear the inflection?
**again
***Which he very well might have been doing as well.
****I tend to be very direct if I like someone. Praps 'tis the 'tism.
*****It sure as hell didn't work that way yesterday.
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