Sometimes I think of one kid in particular who articulate something extremely well when she transferred from her toddler classroom to mine; she said, "My old classroom loved me. Will you love me?" And that's the point, I think, with that type of anxiety; will you love me like they loved me? I didn't ask for this (change). I was gucci where I was. Where's my guarantee of love?
This week as last week I've been trying to ride the high of organizing things and trying to design and implement Systems before SAD kicks in and I go back to OT-ing kids. Sounds like there might be a higher percentage of feeding therapy, so that'll be interesting and kind of difficult. I wouldn't say my eating has ever been precisely ordered. And there's a part of my brain that kicks back pretty hard (Why are we doing this if they're healthy? What happened to fed is best?) but yes. I think it'll be necessary to learn about and go through.
Once things are basically organized the plan is to design, print, and implement visual schedules out the butt. Here a picture of what your room looks like when it's clean broken down by quadrant. Does it match? No? Well, get back in there, marine! Here a visual checklist of morning shit, there a visual checklist of nighttime shit. And we've added violin lessons in, so that's kind of nice. Probably need an intentional movement outlet, though. Did you know that it's relatively difficult to enroll a 7-year-old in softball in Alaska in common era 2025? Me either. I am so not a sporty-type person. It's like a whole different country.
There's been lots of gym time lately with no real noticeable results. 🤷 I feel better afterwards - I guess I'm going to continue going with that. It's probably good for my little brain hormones/NTs and it's where I get to watch my Inappropriate Television and walk briskly uphill to a playlist I made once upon a time for a class I briefly taught called Ballet For Bad Bitches. No further questions, your honor.
Actually, not a further question, but a further statement: V texted me to ask if 38 is too late to start getting into ballet and obviously not - go for it! I would just caution against jumping at all unless you have the Good Good insurance.
With time I have to structure myself comes the need for podcasts and audio books to fill the time as regards repetitive tasks, and as far as that goes I've been striking out with the formulaic audio books* on Spotify premium. And I'm not always in the mood for golden age of radio podcasts.
Echo by Terry Moore was lit, though, and I've started on a promising hardboiled detective novel set in New Jersey that does have a drop-dead gorgeous POC 47-year-old female protagonist.
Trying to keep it in the back of my mind that I need to continue working on capstone stuff during this off time. I need so much goddamn repetition to make it stick, though.
Okay. I'm off to enjoy this rainy day.
*Why is there always a drop-dead gorgeous POC best friend? As a matter of fact, why aren't they the protagonist?
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