Shopping for back-to-school; shoes. Needing to be left alone to figure it out (she does this too). More anxiety than me.
Reading? Important to communicate that she can do it.
J ate. Maybe that's why.
We had a lot of screentime, actually.
S seems to be working a lot so far. So I don't know if we'll be visiting on a day where he's...not working. I also don't know if he'd want to do anything other than sleep if we did visit. But we probably should?
Aww, heck. AHEC
Melatonin.
The cat being wild about pooping in weird places. Grrr.
Some of my weirds this last week have been due to (drumroll) getting sick! My first thought yesterday when I thought I might be getting sick was: "Oh no. My cortisol is low enough for me to get sick. But also...yay?"
That's my theory, anyway. High cortisol = no sick. Low cortisol = sick. High cortisol may also = chronic disease. So. I'm not mad about it, but I also don't really want to call in sick because life doesn't. Ever. Stop.
Today is work and then Back to School Picnic. They didn't release who L's first grade teacher (or anybody's any grade teacher) was going to be until yesterday. In part (I bet) because giving less notice means less time for families to freak out about which class their child is in, I guess.
I have no particular memory of who L's teacher is, but it's not the one she was hoping for and not the one I was hoping for, so hopefully (hah) it'll all work out! I'm sure she's very nice, I just have literally *gestures floppily at general surroundings* no memory of this person.
Her school has also stopped it with the Lucy Dawkins reading curriculum (but not before the combined-power anxiety of them being all crab hands and me being all like "waita second" and doing phonics-ish shit at home have given L major anxiety around the whole idea of learning how to read) but haven't been very transparent about what reading curriculum they're switching to. They just say that they "have permission to do something different than the district at large". Which doesn't necessarily mean that 1) they will or 2) that the one they choose will be very inclusive. *shrug*
Phonemics is not phonics, my guy! I said it once, I'll say it again (probably).
I suppose I still feel extra-cunty in a way, because my experiences with her kindergarten teacher were just a sad waltz of:
KT: Just trust me.
Me: You're not giving me near enough information to trust you.
KT: This isn't going well.
Me: In what way?
KT: In this way.
Me: ...and what have you tried to do to address it so far?
KT: Is there anything that works at home?
Me: Home is a very different environment. How about here?
KT: *vague smile*
Me: *offers three-to-four different strategies to my kid in a way that was sadly passive-aggressive to the teacher*
Anyway. It didn't go well. We'll see how this goes. In the back of my stomach I feel a pit that says: you watch. No information from last year will be passed along. We'll have to start from scratch. My frontal lobe wants to say that's just anxiety talking. But it's also a very real possibility. They are nice people. And do a good job of generally helping my kid feel connected and worthwhile (which is the main point, I suppose) but the parts that don't fit together very well are logistical and, well, silly to me.
In early childhood as in later education it seems silly to me that communication is the thing that falls by the wayside. Because you can't do any of the other shit without it. And I know, I know, in the United States education is a privilege not a right, but by Christ it should be a right, you know?
Okay. Well. I'm going to go to work sick and wear a mask and barrel through like the millennial I am.
Bye!
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