The vibe, she shifts between straight-up forgetting important things, feeling oddly all right, and feeling the tiredest I’ve ever been.
I can typically only do three things per day. This includes things like going to the grocery store. Work only counts sometimes, though. Sometimes it's all right and I can do three things plus work. Other times work is one of the things. Lately, though, I can usually only do two things per day. This might look like: inpatient psych rotation and life administrative paperwork in the morning or going to the gym for a tight 30. Sunday was a little better than usual. I managed humanist church (and had three whole-ass conversations! With real people!), light housework, and taking my mom out for her birthday dinner.
It's kind of tough hanging out with my parents lately. Between non-conversations about safe topics, them subtly disparaging my parenting and eating habits, and my not really wanting to talk about fieldwork because they definitely think they Know Everything about mental illness* and mental health **...and my reluctance to hear it...it gets pretty quiet pretty fast.
*It's a result of not being aligned with God and His plan, dontchaknow.
**Trick question! Mental health isn't real. Also bodily health isn't real. You're powered strictly by the Spirit of God, silly!
I'm trying a new thing where the footnotes aren't way at the bottom of the page. Like it? Me either.
Other things: it's five days late, but happy birthday to T! I don't have much to add to that. Just: if you're reading this, I thought about you and tried to send all the good vibes your direction. <confetti emoji>
I am a little bit zombie-fied lately, but things are happening (in slow motion, but still). It's hard to force myself to focus, prioritize, stare at the screen for 4+ hours and write, but it was a little better today. In part because my task du jour is making a lil' manual for the year one students for their respective orientations at the inpatient psych hospital and I sure do love doing that kind of thing. Here is a dictionary! Some acronyms! Who to contact when! A little schedule! Some items of interest! The blood of secretaries runs in my veins, what can I say?
Speaking of inpatient psych, the hardest thing so far has been motivating myself to transition between the rehab suite and the units to do things with patients individually. It's kind of like the difference between someone showing up at your house and you having to go to a party, I think? The most anxious-making things about 1:1 OT to me so far is the getting-to-know you period and the just not knowing of the person and the circumstances. This is kind of already taken care of in outpatient and mobile outpatient (and, I assume, home health), but less so in schools and inpatient rehab and psych. Nobody's going to show up for an appointment at a certain time, I have to go to them and/or ask them to come and I'll probably be pretty good at that by the end of this rotation, but for now - my god. The social anxiety. I'm going to have to reframe that somehow. Hm.
Also: there's a rec therapy kind of...room...attached to the rehab suite, and there's a bathroom attached to that which is accessible to patients during groups and that sort of thing. I know for a fact that someone goes in and "cleans" it every morning, but for at least 1 week there's been a single booger stuck to the wall above what I'd guess to be someone's average sightline just to the right of the door. There's a single strand of hair just hanging out on the sink too which hasn't been touched in 2 days and counting. I suppose I should just clean them, but I am curious. How long will it take for someone else to notice? Has someone else noticed and they're just playing at the same game I am? <<in the style of Carrie Bradshaw>> At the end of the day, aren't we all just thinking, "snot my problem"? <</Carrie Bradshaw>>
